The Average American's Guide for Non-Soccer Gurus
Teams in The World Cup
BRAZIL, CROATIA, MEXICO, CAMEROON, SPAIN, NETHERLANDS, CHILE, AUSTRALIA, COLOMBIA, GREECE, IVORY COAST, JAPAN, URUGUAY, COSTA RICA, ENGLAND, ITALY, SWITZERLAND, ECUADOR, FRANCE, HONDURAS, ARGENTINA, BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA, IRAN, NIGERIA, GERMANY, PORTUGAL, GHANA, USA, BELGIUM, ALGERIA, RUSSIA, SOUTH KOREA
2. It's in Brazil, and the people are beautiful. Honestly, a World Cup in Brazil will be completely different than South Africa. This will be a 32 day party.
3. Flopping will not result in a $5,000 fine. You might even get to see something worse the Dwayne Wade's.
4. It is the pinnacle of soccer.
5. The United States soccer team is in the "Group of Death," the hardest group in the World Cup to advance out of.
6. England tabloids headlines are always comic gold no matter how the team performs
7. Let's see if France actually practiced this time.
8. Will Spain continue its Dynasty?
9. Can Brazil cope with the pressure of playing at home and erase the 1950 failure?
10. Will Cristiano take his shirt off?
11. Will Messi make everyone forget about the coked-up Diego Maradona?
12. Will Suarez bite another player? Or just do something dumb in general?
13. Cristiano vs. Messi
14. No More Vuvuzelas.
15. All Coverage is on the ESPN Networks, which means plenty of Ian Darke.
Clean Sheet: A shut out for the goalkeeper.
Direct Free Kick: Given after a foul. The ball does not need to touch another player before it goes into the goal.
Indirect Free Kick: Also given after a foul, but the ball needs to touch another player before it goes into the goal.
Golazo: Separate from a Goal. This is a goal that leaves you saying "how did he do that?"
Side: Official word for "team."
Offside: When a pass goes to another player who is behind the last defender (other than the goalie) on the field. It prevents goal hanging or "cherry-picking."
Parking the Bus: Every single player on one team is in their box defending the goal. For example, watch Greece play.
Substitution: Each team is allowed three substitutions. Exchange one player for another on the field.
Yellow Card: Allowed two of these in the game. These are given for a minor foul.
Red Card: The worst penalty in the game. The player is ejected from the game and the team cannot substitute.
1. The event lasts from June 12 – July 13.
2. The top two teams advance from each group to the Round of 16.
3. The teams accumulate points based on match results in Group play. A win is worth 3, a loss 0 and a tie 1.
4. In the Round of 16 (also known as the "Knockout Round"), each team that wins their Group competes against a runner-up team from a different Group.
5. Spain is looking to win their fourth consecutive major tournament. They won the 2008 Euros, The FIFA World Cup in 2010 and the 2012 Euros. They are the first team ever to win three major tournaments in a row.
6. No European team has ever won the World Cup on South American soil. Can a European team finally break through?
7. Remember that annoying buzzing you heard all last World Cup? The wonderful vuvuzelas? The instrument of choice this year are drums, so get ready for the pounding.
8. The last time Brazil hosted the World Cup, they were shocked by Uruguay, 1-0, in the 1950 final. I don't believe the Brazilian community has gotten over it (Editor's Note: A Partner at the firm I work for is from Brazil. They haven't).
9. The Final is in the historic Maracana in Rio de Janeiro. Matches will take place in more cities then ever before, with a total of 12 cities hosting matches. The stadiums might not be done in time.
11. The temperature and humidity will have an impact. The temperature for each match is expected to be around 80-85 degrees. We could see even temperatures as high as mid-90s.
12. The mascot for the FIFA 2014 World Cup is an armadillo named Fuleco. Not only is he an armadillo, he can curl into a soccer ball and is apparently 14 years old.
13. The official ball of the World Cup is called the Brazuca and is sponsored by Adidas.
As the host nation coming off the Confederations Cup win last summer, Brazil comes into the World Cup as the heavy favorite. However, the last time the World Cup was in Brazil, they were surprised by Uruguay in the 1950 Final and lost. Anything less then a record sixth World Cup trophy will be seen as a failure to the country. They are led by Neymar and will go as far as he takes them. Will they crack under the pressure? We don't know. One thing we do know is that they will be scrutinized every step of the way.
2. Will the Spanish Dynasty come to end?
Did I mention Spain has won THREE consecutive major tournaments? For non-soccer fans, it's the equivalent of the Bulls three-peating in the NBA. However, there's no guarantee that Spain will make history by winning their fourth consecutive major tournament and become the first non-South American team to win the World Cup in the Americas. This team keeps on evolving, but their core tendencies stay the same. They play possession and possession only. Their biggest threats are Uruguay, Brazil, and Argentina. They won't have to face Uruguay until at least the Quarters and neither Brazil nor Argentina until at least the Semis. But the big question remains. Can they do it? I say they come close, but ultimately lose to Uruguay in the Quarters.
There was an excellent article in ESPN: The Magazine about Messi’s trouble getting his country to accept him. It doesn’t help that he left the country to go to Spain when he was little, and it also doesn’t help that the country is still in love with Diego Maradona. However, Messi is still widely regarded as the greatest player of his generation, and many believe he just needs a World Cup Trophy to pass Pelé as the greatest of all time. No one can argue that Messi’s club career with Barcelona has been nothing short of greatness; however, his international career has been nothing short of pedestrian. Even so, a win in this World Cup would erase all of that and elevate Messi into the Mount Rushmore of soccer greats.
4. Can the United States surivive without US Soccer Legend, Landon Donovan?
In case you were living under a rock, Landon Donovan, regarded as the greatest US Soccer player ever, was left off the United States final 23 man roster. This may be shocking to some people; however, let me remind you that he took a year and a half sabbatical to go to Cambodia to "find himself." I have nothing against that, but he was told by head coach Jurgen Klinsmann that he would have to earn his spot back. I support Klinsmann 100% in this decision because, like anyone else, Donovan had to earn his spot back. Klinnsman felt there were 23 players who were better. But the question remains. Can the United States survive without his leadership? I say with absolute certainty, they can. Tim Howard has been a mainstay on this US team and will provide the veteran leadership they need. However, getting out of the Group is a whole different story. And Landon, we will always have this goal.
There was breaking news late last week that Cristiano Ronaldo (I will not debate who is better: Messi or Ronaldo. Just enjoy it) of Portugal could miss the World Cup. He is trying to recover from leg injuries (tendinitis and a muscle injury) in time for the World Cup, but hasn't been practicing or playing in Portugal's warm up games. This is a huge storyline because one of the best and most polarizing figures in soccer might not play in the biggest tournament in the world. If he does decide he is fit to play, I don't know how much of a difference he can make since he's hasn't been participating in practice.
Monday, June 16, 2014 6 PM: USA v Ghana, Estadio das Dunas, Natal
Sunday, June 22, 2014 6 PM: USA v. Portugal, Arena Amzonia, Manaus
Thursday, June 26, 2014 12 PM: USA v. Germany, Arena Pernambuco, Recife
Jerseys
FEDERATION: CONCACAF
FIFA RANKING: 13
PROJECTED STARTING 11 (4 – 4 – 2):
TIM HOWARD, DEMARCUS BEASLEY, MATT BESLER, OMAR GONZALEZ, FABIAN JOHNSON, JERMAINE JONES, ALEJANDRO BEDOYA, GRAHAM ZUSI, MICHAEL BRADLEY, CLINT DEMPSEY, JOZY ALTIDORE
WORLD CUP HISTORY: The USA crowning achievement in the World Cup happened in 1930, when they reached the semi-finals. We beat the English in 1950 (many thought that US soccer would take off after this). Then we didn't qualify for the next NINE World Cups (for you those of you bad at math, 36 years).
TEAM VALUE WORTH: $77,464,104, 28 of 32
HIGHEST PAID PLAYER: Clint Dempsey ($9,527,700)
ROSTER: Ten Players from the powerhouse known as Major League Soccer (for soccer noobs, that’s a joke). However, the MLS always has great goal celebrations when they do score.
ODDS TO WIN THE TOURNAMENT: 250/1 To put that in perspective for non-soccer fans, the Jacksonville Jaguars are currently 200/1 to win the Super Bowl in 2015.
PEOPLE YOU NEED TO KNOW:
Clint Demspey aka Captain America. He led the US in scoring during qualifying.
Michael Bradley aka our Mr. Everthing. He used to just be the coach's son, but now he is so much more the that. The team goes as far as he goes.
Landon Donovan aka not on the team aka the greatest US Soccer Player ever. Many people disagree with the fact Donovan did not make the team; however, let me remind you he took a year long “sabatical” to do God knows what in Cambodia (a la the Ricky Williams decision). Maybe he even got the idea from Ricky Williams.
Tim Howard aka Timmy. Tim Howard just earned his 100 cap for the United States National Team. He is our best chance to slow down Cristiano Ronaldo (oh he is so good looking).
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT ROOT FOR THE UNITED STATES: BECAUSE YOU'RE A TERRORIST.
HOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE YOU AREN’T A SOCCER NOOB: The United States' central defenders of Omar Gonzalez and Matt Besler are the key players to this World Cup. They need to stay in formation and contain the likes of Cristiano, Ozil and Kwadwo Asamoah.
WORDS TO NEVER SAY WHEN WATCHING WITH USA FANS: "Where’s Landon Donovan?" This will instantly make people realize you have no idea what's going on and you will look like a moron. Don't worry, Landon. We will always have the game against Algeria. Besides, ESPN had the brilliant idea of hiring him as an analyst for the World Cup. That won't be awkward at all.
WHAT TO WEAR: A Pair of ‘MERICAS Chubbies Shorts. The new Firecracker jerseys (I suggest Jozy Altidore or Fabian Johnson). A pair of boat shoes. An American Flag hanging proudly from your shoulders. This picture. Tums for all the agita. And lastly, a case of beer (Bud Light will be just fine). Or at least that's what I'll be wearing. GO USA.
Mark it down. This will be the game of the tournament. This will be Spain’s first true test in the World Cup. This will also be the time for Luis Suarez to become a national hero. THE PICK: Uruguay
Argentina vs France - Round of 16
Is this the year Argentina breaks through and Messi ends the debate of best footballer in the world? Can France rebound after that awful showing last World Cup? THE PICK: Argentina
Brazil vs. Italy - Quarterfinals
Two soccer super powers face off. What's not to enjoy? THE PICK: Brazil
There are tons of storylines for this one. Is Belgium ready to be treated as soccer royalty? How far can the United States go if they advance out of the "Group of Death?" Will Belgium crumble under the pressure? Can Dempsey lead the United States to World Cup glory? Will Landon Donovan's absence impact the United States? THE PICK: United States
Can you imagine the crowd for an all South American semi-final? Can Messi finally achieve Argentinean glory? Can Uruguay get to another final in Brazil? Will Suraez impact the game positively or negatively? One thing we do know, these are two of the best teams in the world and I don't see anyone stopping them from making the Final Four. THE PICK: Argentina
Brazil vs. Germany
I don't see Brazil losing before the Finals. They just have too much going for them. The crowd, the home field advantage, and the talent. This will be too much for a tough Germany squad to overcome. THE PICK: Brazil
I feel like Messi is on a mission this time around. It may take a Herculean-like effort to upset Brazil in Rio, but I think Messi ascends to the Mount Rushmore of soccer and scores not one, but two goals in the Final to lead Argentina to their second World Cup win. WINNER: Argentina
Golden Boot: Luiz Suarez (Uruguay)
Golden Glove: Manuel Neuer (Germany)
MVP of the Final Match Trophy: Lionel Messi (Argentina)